Torrey Blog

Dr. John Coe, director for the Institution for Spiritual Formation at Talbot, School of Seminary, spoke on Thursday at Biola's annual Torrey Conference. The topic Dr. Coe lectured on touched the bases on dating, romance, and the spiritual discipline of remaining emotionally pure. Dr. John Coe's emphasis was concerning the call to physical chastity as well as emotional, and to instead "channel that energy for relational work" as opposed to giving in to lustful desires. It is fundamentally harmful to the relationship and eventually the marriage when the husband or wife is overly emotionally or sexually involved before marriage. As the New York Times stated on Monday in a recent survey on sexuality, "the increasing availability of pornography on the Internet, which has been shown to affect sexual attitudes and perceptions of "normal" behavior, may be playing a role in rising infidelity". People were created, as Coe stated, for a deep spiritual union with a spouse and with God. To surrender to sexual lusts through outlets such as pornography or engaging in sexual acts with a person before marriage is destructive and ultimately leads to sex becoming a selfish act more so than a physical and emotional union. As lectured by Dr. Coe, "the 'partner' or sexual satisfaction becomes an object os use," meaning that relationships between a man and a woman, who do not remain pure, become victims to their own self-serving desires. 

It is difficult to remain emotionally and physically pure when, especially in today's society, it is easier to be sexual. the Internet, and cellular phones have made it harder for relationships, including marriage, to survive. The divorce rate is as intimidating as ever, and worse yet, the percentages of people engaging in adultery is, likewise, staggering. Tara Parker-Pope, writer for the New York Times, stated in her recent article that "10 percent of married people- 12 percent of men and 7 percent of women- say they have had sex outside their marriage". It is in our best interest to refrain from sexual and romantic desires but to channel that energy, as Coe stated Thursday, "for deepening healthy, legitimate relationships, and for advancing in wisdom in the Spirit regarding whom to marry". Infidelity is gaining momentum in a world that runs on electronics such as e-mail, instant messaging, Internet, and texting. The need to remain pure within the marriage and within the lines of an emotionally pure relationship makes it easier to constrain yourself from acting on lustful impulses that young people in our generation have fallen victim to. The sacred union of marriage is between a husband and his wife, but also with God. This relationship should not be easy to break apart but unfortunately humans, having been born spiritually dead, have an empty emotional and spiritual void that society feels the need to fill with sexual, and romantic desires of the flesh. 

With the help of Christ, the relationships that people have should not result in exploiting the other person for their own desires, but should bring honor to God. The results of which would create a better, and healthier relationship between spouses and with God.